Spamalot

About the show

A recording encourages members of the audience to "let your cell phones and pagers ring willy-nilly," and comments that they should "be aware there are heavily armed knights on stage that may drag you on stage and impale you." This was recorded by Eric Idle. A historian narrates a brief overview of medieval England. In a miscommunication between the actors and the narrator, the actors sing an introductory song about Finland ("Fisch Schlapping Song"). The Historian returns, irritated, and tells the frolicking Finns that he was talking about England, not Finland. The scene immediately changes to a dreary, dark village with penitent monks in hooded robes chanting Latin and hitting themselves with wooden boards ("Monk's Chant"). King Arthur travels the land with his servant, Patsy, who follows him around banging two coconut shells together to make the sound of a horse's hooves as Arthur "rides" before him. Arthur aims to recruit Knights of the Round Table to join him in Camelot ("King Arthur's Song"). Arthur and Patsy encounter a pair of sentries who begin debating the probability of finding a coconut in a non-tropical climate. Robin, a collector of plague victims, and Lancelot, a handsome and hot-tempered man, meet as Lancelot attempts to dispose of the sickly Not Dead Fred. Although a plague victim, the man insists that he is not dead yet and he can dance and sing. He begins performing a dance number, but is soon knocked unconscious with a shovel by an impatient Lancelot ("He Is Not Dead Yet"). Lancelot and Robin agree to become Knights together; Lancelot wants to fight in battles, and Robin wants to sing and dance professionally. Not Dead Fred revives, declaring he will serve as Robin's musician, only to be promptly killed by Lancelot. While attempting to recruit a peasant named Dennis Galahad, Arthur explains that he became King of England because the Lady of the Lake gave him Excalibur, the sword given only to the man fit to rule England. However, Dennis and his mother, Mrs. Galahad, are political radicals and say that any king who has not been elected by the people has no legitimate right to rule over them. To settle the issue, Arthur asks the Lady of the Lake and her "Laker Girls" (named after the cheerleading squad) to appear before Dennis ("Come with Me"). Cheered on by the girls ("Laker Girls Cheer"), the Lady of the Lake turns Dennis into Sir Galahad; together they sing a generic Broadway love song ("The Song That Goes Like This"). Arthur knights Galahad, and subsequently Robin and Lancelot. Together with Sir Bedevere and the "aptly named" Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Show, a knight resembling Don Quixote who promptly apologises and leaves, they become the Knights of the Round Table ("All for One"). Arthur and the four knights gather in Camelot, a deliberately anachronistic place resembling Las Vegas's Camelot-inspired Excalibur resort, complete with showgirls, oversized dice and the Lady of the Lake as a lounge singer reminiscent of Liza Minnelli ("Knights of the Round Table"/"The Song That Goes Like This (Reprise)"). In the midst of their revelry, they are contacted by God, who tells them to locate the Holy Grail. Urged on by the Lady of the Lake ("Find Your Grail"), the knights set off. They travel throughout the land until they reach a castle, only to be viciously taunted by lewd French soldiers. Bedevere comes up with the idea to retaliate by sending them a large wooden rabbit in the style of the Trojan horse; however, the knights realize after the fact that they forgot to hide inside the rabbit before the French soldiers took it in. Defeated, they leave in a hurry when the French soldiers begin taunting them again, sending cancan dancers after them and throwing barnyard animals at them ("Run Away!"). Arthur and his followers manage to run into the safety of the wings before the French soldiers catapult the Trojan rabbit back at them. The knights are separated after the French soldiers' attack. In a forest, Arthur and Patsy meet the terrifying Knights Who Say "Ni!", who demand a shrubbery. Arthur has no idea where to find a shrubbery, but Patsy cheers him up ("Always Look on the Bright Side of Life") and they find a shrubbery shortly after. Sir Robin wanders the forest with his minstrels ("Brave Sir Robin"), and they encounter the Black Knight, who scares Robin away. Arthur then encounters the Black Knight and defeats him by cutting off both his arms and legs, impaling his still-alive torso on a door, and leaving to give the shrubbery to the Knights Who Say "Ni!". Arthur and Robin reunite. The Knights Who Say "Ni!" accept the shrubbery and then demand that Arthur put on a musical and bring it to Broadway. Robin insists that it would be impossible to accomplish this next task, since a successful Broadway musical requires the involvement of Jewish people ("You Won't Succeed on Broadway"). Robin proves his point in a wild production number filled with Ashkenazi Jewish cultural references, a list of Jewish celebrities known for their work on Broadway, and a Fiddler on the Roof parody involving a bottle dance with Grails instead of bottles. Arthur and Patsy promptly set off in search of Jews. While the Lady of the Lake laments her lack of stage time ("Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)"), Sir Lancelot receives a letter of distress from someone who is being forced into an arranged marriage. He is very surprised to find that the supposed "damsel in distress" is actually an effeminate young man named Prince Herbert ("Where Are You?"). Herbert asks Lancelot to help him escape. Herbert's music-hating father, the King of Swamp Castle, cuts the rope that Herbert is using to climb out of the window, and Herbert falls to his apparent death. Lancelot is a bit puzzled at the king's actions, but discovers that his squire Concorde saved Herbert at the last minute. When Herbert begins to explain, in song, how he was saved, the king charges at Herbert with a spear, preparing to kill him. Lancelot steps in to save Herbert, then gives a tearful, heartfelt speech to the king about sensitivity on Herbert's behalf. The king correctly guesses that Lancelot is homosexual, and Herbert helps Lancelot accept his sexuality in a disco number ("His Name Is Lancelot"). Arthur begins to give up hope of ever putting on a Broadway musical and laments that he is alone, ignoring Patsy ("I'm All Alone"). The Lady of the Lake appears and tells Arthur that he and the Knights have been in a Broadway musical all along. The Lady of the Lake tells Arthur that to end the musical, he must find the Grail and marry someone. Arthur proposes to the Lady of the Lake, and she happily accepts. They plan to marry after Arthur finds the Grail ("Twice in Every Show"). The knights reunite, recruit Sir Bors, and meet Tim the Enchanter, a pyromancer who warns them of the danger of a killer rabbit. When the rabbit bites off Bors' head, Arthur uses the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch against it, knocking down a nearby hill and revealing that the "evil rabbit" was actually a puppet controlled by a surprised puppeteer. A large stone block showing a combination of letters and numbers is also revealed. After pondering the final clue, a confused Arthur asks God for help. A large hand points to the audience and Arthur realises that the letters and numbers refer to a seat number in the audience. The grail is "found" under the seat, and the person sitting in the seat is invited on stage to be rewarded with a small trophy shaped like the Monty Python foot and a polaroid photo ("The Holy Grail"). Arthur marries the Lady of the Lake, who reveals that her name is Guinevere, and Lancelot marries Herbert, who finally gets a chance to sing without interruption from his father. Sir Robin decides to pursue a career in musical theatre. The King of Swamp Castle attempts to interrupt the finale and stop the singing, but Lancelot knocks him unconscious with a shovel. After the bows at curtain call, the company invites the audience to partake in a sing-along of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". ("Act 2 Finale / Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Company Bow)").