Pineapple Poll

About the show

Music by Arthur Sullivan, arranged by Charles Mackerras. H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun has arrived in Portsmouth, and the sailors, who are on shore leave, meet some pretty town's girls whom they like. Pineapple Poll then arrives with a basket of flowers. The sailors buy the flowers from Pineapple Poll to give to their girlfriends, some doing so reluctantly. Jasper, the 'pot boy' at the local inn, serves drinks to some of the sailors. Jasper is very interested in Pineapple Poll, but she haughtily rejects his proffered love. Captain Belaye of H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun then arrives, and the sailors are horrified when their girlfriends swoon at the sight of the Captain. The sailors attempt to stop the girls, without success. Pineapple Poll also tries to capture the Captain's attention, but she does not have Jasper's restraining hand to stop her. When Captain Belaye is finally left alone, a girl (Blanche) arrives with her aunt (Mrs. Dimple). It is love at first sight for both the Captain and Blanche. Mrs. Dimple is initially opposed to the Captain's interest in her niece, but she finally relents. When Captain Belaye returns to the port, the town's girls and Pineapple Poll once again try to capture his interest. Captain Belaye manages to escape from the girls with much difficulty, and the girls are then left sighing after the Captain, while the members of his crew vent their anger against him. It is nightfall, and some 'sailors' go up the gangplank to board the ship. Pineapple Poll arrives on the wharf with some naval clothes in which she then dresses herself (off-stage), following which Pineapple Poll also then goes up the gangplank to the ship. Jasper arrives at the wharf and is devastated to find Pineapple Poll's clothes. He mistakenly assumes that Pineapple Poll has drowned. Despondently, he gathers up Pineapple Poll's clothing and leaves. The following morning, on board H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun, Captain Belaye is taking his 'crew' through drill. Although his 'crew' is dressed in the usual ship's uniforms, they are far smaller in build than usual – however, the Captain does not seem to realise that there is a disparity in their heights. The uniform which Pineapple Poll is wearing is not a uniform which a sailor would wear on board H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun, and she continually exercises en pointe, but the Captain appears oblivious to anything unusual about her as well. Captain Belaye also does not notice that his 'sailors' are looking up adoringly at him. When the cannon is fired, he is surprised at the reaction of the 'sailors', including Pineapple Poll (who faints at the sound). A church bell then tolls in the distance, and the Captain leaves the ship. A short while later, the Captain returns to the ship with Blanche (who is dressed as a bride) and Mrs. Dimple. The 'crew' all faint with shock. Pineapple Poll is the first to recover and to demonstrate to Captain Belaye that she is female. Then the other 'sailors' demonstrate that they, too, are female. Blanche is horrified, as is her aunt, at the ship's crew all being girls, and the Captain looks stunned. The ship's genuine crew then arrive, as does Jasper. The sailors are very annoyed with their girlfriends, and the girls have to coax and cajole the sailors to take them back. Jasper has a tougher time with Pineapple Poll, who is still hankering after the Captain. Belaye, who has now been promoted to the rank of Admiral, returns to the deck with his bride, Blanche, and Blanche's Aunt, Mrs. Dimple. Pineapple Poll swoons at the sight of the Admiral, much to Jasper's distress. Mrs. Dimple calls to Jasper and then gives him the Admiral's former Captain's attire. Jasper puts on the Captain's hat and coat – and becomes the new Captain of H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun as a result (even though Jasper has never been a sailor), and Pineapple Poll's affections and interest are immediately transferred from the Admiral to Jasper. The sailors of H.M.S. Hot Cross Bun are most displeased that the 'pot boy' has suddenly been elevated to be their Captain, and they openly show their disdain for him. All of the girls then return to the ship's deck, wearing their own clothes, and are welcomed back by their delighted boyfriends. The girls swoon at the sight of Jasper in his new Captain's uniform, but this time the sailors are able to keep their girlfriends in check, and all ends happily.