Bye Bye Birdie

About the show

New York–based songwriter Albert Peterson finds himself in trouble when his client, hip-thrusting rock and roll superstar and teen idol Conrad Birdie, is drafted into the Army, leaving his heavily indebted firm Al-Mae-Lou Music (a spoof of the real-life Aldon Music) in jeopardy. Albert's secretary, Rose "Rosie" Alvarez, comes up with a last-ditch publicity stunt to have Birdie record and perform a song before he is sent overseas. Having been stuck in a sort of romantic limbo for eight years, she longs for the Albert she once knew, an aspiring English teacher, before he wrote Birdie's first hit and abandoned those plans to pursue the seedier music industry ("An English Teacher"). Rose's plan is to have Birdie sing "One Last Kiss" (a song she assigns Albert to write on the spot) and give one lucky girl, chosen randomly from his fan club, a real "last kiss" on The Ed Sullivan Show before going into the Army. In Sweet Apple, Ohio, all the teenagers are catching up on the latest gossip about 15-year-old Kim MacAfee and Hugo Peabody going steady ("The Telephone Hour"). Kim reflects on how happy she is with her maturity, believing at 15 she has fully reached adulthood ("How Lovely to Be a Woman"). She quits the Conrad Birdie fan club over the phone because of the new milestone happening in her life. Her best friend Ursula is shocked. Kim reconsiders when, after a lengthy phone conversation with Ursula, she receives the phone call telling her that she has been chosen to be Birdie's last kiss before going into the armed forces. Meanwhile, Conrad, Albert and Rosie prepare to go to Sweet Apple. A crowd of teenage girls sees them off at the New York City train station, although one girl is sad because she thinks that by the time Conrad gets out of the army, she will be too old for him. Albert advises her to be optimistic ("Put On a Happy Face"). Soon, tabloid reporters arrive with questions about the seedy details of Conrad's personal life, but Rosie, Albert and the girls answer for him, hoping to protect his reputation and bankability ("Normal American Boy"). Conrad receives a hero's welcome in Sweet Apple, and Hugo worries that Kim likes Conrad more than she likes him, but Kim assures Hugo that he is the only one she loves ("One Boy"). Conrad shocks the town's parents and drives the teenage girls crazy with his performance of "Honestly Sincere", which causes all of the girls (including Edna, the mayor's wife) to faint. Conrad becomes a guest in the MacAfee house and irritates Kim's father, Harry, by being rude and selfish. Harry does not want Kim to kiss Conrad, until Albert tells him their whole family will be on The Ed Sullivan Show. Kim, Harry, Kim's mother Doris, and younger brother Randolph sing Sullivan's praises ("Hymn for a Sunday Evening"). Albert's overbearing mother, Mae, comes to Sweet Apple to break up her son's relationship with Rosie (she objects to Rosie's Hispanic heritage). She introduces Albert to Gloria Rasputin, a curvy blonde she met on the bus who could replace Rosie as his secretary. Gloria, a tap dancer, secretly hopes that a connection with Albert could be her way into show business. Mae sings "Swanee River" as Gloria tap-dances (usually depicted as her making a fool of herself). Albert gives Gloria a typing job. Rosie is furious, and fantasizes about violent ways to murder Albert ("One Hundred Ways Ballet"), but instead comes up with a better idea: she convinces Hugo to sabotage the last kiss. Since both Rosie and Hugo are jealous and angry, they plot to ruin Conrad's appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. On the broadcast, Conrad sings "One Last Kiss", and as he leans in to kiss Kim, Hugo runs onstage and punches him in the face, knocking Conrad unconscious. Rosie dumps Albert who, trying to cover for the mishaps of the evening, then leads a chorus of "Normal American Boy". Despite plans to re-film the broadcast, Rosie and Kim resolve to leave Albert and Hugo, lamenting their stupidity for having fallen in love ("What Did I Ever See in Him?"). Conrad, with no visible effects from being knocked out, decides he wants to go out and have a good time on his last night as a civilian, and encourages the Sweet Apple teens to party ("A Lot of Livin' to Do"). Kim sneaks out of her house and joins her friends. Conrad, Kim, and all the teenagers, except Hugo, head for the Ice House, "where people go when they want to be alone." Hugo goes to Maude's Roadside Retreat, the town bar, hoping to get drunk, but grumpy proprietor Charles F. Maude sees that he's underage and refuses to serve him. When Harry discovers Kim has run away, he and Doris lament how disobedient kids are these days ("Kids"). Rosie ends up at Maude's Roadside Retreat and starts flirting with other men, but Albert phones her and begs her to return to him ("Baby, Talk to Me"). Rosie interrupts a Shriners meeting in Maude's private dining room. She flirts with all the Shriners, and they begin a wild dance. Hugo and Albert rescue Rosie from the crazed Shriners, and Albert finally stands up to his mother, telling her to go home. Mae leaves, but not before lamenting the sacrifices she made for him ("A Mother Doesn't Matter Anymore"). Hugo tells the MacAfees and the other parents that the teenagers have gone to the Ice House, and they all declare that they do not know what's wrong with their kids ("Kids Reprise"). Randolph joins in, stating that his older sister and the other teens are "so ridiculous and so immature". The adults and the police arrive at the Ice House and arrest Conrad for attempted statutory rape. Kim, who unconvincingly claimed to be in her late 20s to Conrad, claims she was intimidated and gladly returns to Hugo. After a reconciliation with Albert, Rosie tells Mae that she will marry Albert despite Mae's racist objections, and despite being a natural-born American citizen from Allentown, Pennsylvania, she will deliberately play up her Hispanic heritage if it annoys Mae that much ("Spanish Rose"). Albert bails Conrad out of jail and arranges for him to sneak out of town dressed as a middle-aged woman, presumably so he can report for Army induction as scheduled; in turn, Conrad offers Albert a lifetime contract for bailing him out. Albert gets Mae to leave Sweet Apple on the same train, getting his mother and Conrad out of his life for good. Albert tells Rosie they're not going back to New York; they're going to Pumpkin Falls, Iowa, a small town in need of a (married) English teacher. Albert professes that everything is rosy with Rosie ("Rosie"), and they go off together happily engaged.