Meet the Cartozians
In 1923, the Cartozian family meet with their Irish lawyer Wallace McCamant regarding their upcoming case before the Supreme Court. The Armenian-born Tatos Cartozian, an Oriental rug merchant living in Portland, Oregon, has lost his newly acquired citizenship due to the legal uncertainty of whether to classify Armenia as part of Europe, Asia, or the Middle East. McCamant presents the argument that they should be considered white by virtue of the word "Caucasian" referring to the Caucasus Mountains, which were originally part of Armenia. The recent events of the Armenian genocide weigh heavily on the family, who were forced to move to America as a result. McCamant argues they can win their case by hiding any aspects of their culture that would jeopardize their claim to being white, which leads to tensions among the family due to their varying skin tones and ability to grasp the English language. In July 2024, a group of four Armenian-Americans gather to be interviewed in the Christmas episode of a reality television series called Meet the Cartozians (a parody of Keeping Up with the Kardashians). The plan is for them to meet "the celebrity" (parodying Kim Kardashian), a well-known reality star who is distantly related to Tatos Cartozian, on camera. While waiting for her arrival, the group and their cameraman discuss their differing relationships to their heritage, as well as whether they consider themselves white or not as a result of the 1924 United States v. Cartozian, which Tatos won and was declared white. The group's differing experiences of racism soon leads to a full-blown argument over the topic, eventually leading the cameraman to cancel the production of the episode entirely. After most of the group has departed, "the celebrity" arrives on set to find the only remaining guest, Robert (played by the same actor as Tatos), eating some kadayif another guest had prepared. The two share the dessert while commiserating over their struggle to connect with their heritage, and the lingering trauma of displacement.