Arsenic and Old Lace
The play is a farcical black comedy revolving around the Brewster family, descended from Mayflower settlers but now composed of maniacs, many of them homicidal. Act 1 Two elderly sisters, Abby and Martha Brewster, live in the old family home in Brooklyn. Their father was a doctor who made a fortune selling patent medicine, and their nephew Teddy, who lives with them, believes he is President Theodore Roosevelt, much to the consternation of the neighbours. Teddy's brother Mortimer, a theatre-hating drama critic, is seeing Elaine, daughter of the minister who lives next door. The other Brewster brother, Jonathan, left home years ago and has not been heard from since. Mortimer proposes to Elaine, much to the delight of his aunts, but is worried he'll inherit the family madness. After Elaine leaves, Mortimer is shocked to discover a dead body hidden in the window seat. He's even more horrified when his aunts glibly confess to killing the man. They've taken to murdering lonely old men by poisoning them with a glass of home-made elderberry wine laced with arsenic, strychnine, and "just a pinch" of cyanide. They've killed a dozen men. Teddy digs graves for them in the cellar, convinced he's digging locks for the Panama Canal and that the dead men all died of yellow fever. Mortimer is horrified, especially when he narrowly prevents them from poisoning another man. He breaks off his engagement without explanation. Later, Jonathan returns to the home, having escaped from prison in Indiana. He's accompanied by an alcoholic accomplice, Dr. Herman Einstein (a character based on real-life gangland surgeon Joseph Moran), who has performed plastic surgery on him to conceal his identity, and now looks like horror-film actor Boris Karloff (a self-referential joke — the part was originally played on Broadway by Karloff). They're looking for a hideout and a place to dispose of their own murder victim. Act 2 Mortimer and the aunts are not pleased to see Jonathan, but reluctantly agree to let him spend the night. Jonathan and Dr. Einstein plan to turn Grandfather Brewster's old lab into an illicit plastic surgery clinic for criminals who want to hide their identities. Mortimer and the aunts try to hide their body from the intruders, while Jonathan and Dr. Einstein try to bury their body in the cellar. They're interrupted by Elaine, who wants to know why Mortimer broke off the engagement, and local police officer O'Hara, who wants Mortimer to help him write a play. Mortimer threatens to tell O'Hara about Jonathan's murder victim, but Jonathan, who is alerted to the corpse in the cellar by Dr. Einstein, threatens Mortimer in kind. After getting rid of Elaine and O'Hara, the aunts tell Jonathan about their own murders. Jonathan is angry that the aunts have killed the same number of people as he has, and is determined to beat them. Act 3 Jonathan plans to kill Mortimer and Teddy, though Dr. Einstein is reluctant. The criminals tie up Mortimer, but are interrupted by O'Hara, who returns to work on the play and is oblivious to Mortimer's predicament. Elaine returns and rescues Mortimer. The police, led by surly Lt. Rooney, raid the house and recognize Jonathan as a fugitive. Jonathan, Teddy, and the aunts insist that there are thirteen bodies in the cellar, but the police think they are all crazy. Lt. Rooney orders Teddy to be committed to a sanitarium. The aunts refuse to abandon Teddy and insist they be committed as well. They leave the house to Mortimer, but confess that he is actually the illegitimate son of their old cook, and therefore not a Brewster by blood. This delights Mortimer, who feels he can now marry Elaine. Dr. Einstein glibly walks out the front door, unnoticed by the police. Jonathan is arrested and taken away, but taunts the aunts that he's still killed as many people as they have. The play ends with the aunts offering the superintendent of the sanitarium a nice glass of elderberry wine.