The Drowsy Chaperone
Musical · 1998
Man in Chair, a mousy, agoraphobic Broadway fanatic, seeking to cure his "non-specific sadness", listens to a recording of the fictional 1928 musical comedy, The Drowsy Chaperone, as he drinks. As he listens to this rare recording, the characters appear in his dingy apartment, and it is transformed into an impressive Broadway set with seashell footlights, sparkling furniture, painted backdrops, and glitzy costumes. Man in Chair provides a running commentary throughout the show from the stage, though he is on the audience's side of the fourth wall, invisible to the other characters. In the opening number, "Fancy Dress", the premise and characters of the show are introduced: it's the day of the wedding of oil tycoon Robert Martin and Broadway star Janet Van De Graaff, who plans to give up her career for married life. Those in attendance include aging hostess Mrs. Tottendale; her loyal employee known only as Underling; Robert's best man, George; Broadway producer Feldzieg, who is hoping to persuade Janet to forgo marriage and continue starring in Feldzieg's Follies; ditzy flapper Kitty, who hopes to take Janet's place in the Follies; two gangsters disguised as pastry chefs; self-proclaimed famed Latin lover Aldolpho; Janet's alcoholic Chaperone, who is supposed to keep her away from Robert until the wedding; and Trix, an aviatrix who Man in Chair suggests to be coded as lesbian. Throughout the show, Man in Chair reveals information about these characters’ fictional actors: Robert was played by Percy Hyman, the face of the fictional, cocaine-containing All Bright Toothpaste. Man in Chair expresses his admiration for Hyman, remarking he “[likes] to think of [Hyman] panting and sweating after a long dance routine”. The gangsters were played by John and Peter Tall. Kitty and Feldzieg were played by the acting couple Sadie and Jack Adler. The Chaperone was played by Dame Beatrice Stockwell, seemingly Man in Chair's icon. Janet was played by Jane Roberts, who was known as the “Oops Girl”, a girl whose “sexual energy was so strong it caused men around her to … spill their drinks, drive their cars into trees [and the works]”. Adolpho was played by Roman Bartelli. Trix is said to have been played by a black actress, which Man in Chair says was a progressive move for the time of the fictional production; no name is given for Trix’s actress. The gangsters reveal to Feldzieg that their boss has invested in the Follies and wants to make sure the show is a financial success, which it presumably will not be without Janet. They tell Feldzieg that he must sabotage the wedding and make sure Janet stays in show business. Feldzieg enlists the vain, easily manipulated Aldolpho to seduce Janet and spoil her relationship with Robert. Meanwhile, in his room, Robert realizes that he is nervous about the wedding. To get rid of his cold feet, he tap dances, and George, who is also nervous, joins in the dance (“Cold Feets”). George notes that tap dancing could be injurious, so he suggests that Robert go roller skating in the garden instead, while wearing a blindfold to keep him from seeing Janet. As George hypes himself up, the show is briefly interrupted by Man in Chair receiving a call, which he ignores (“Wedding Bells #1”). Outside by the pool, Janet tells reporters that she is happy to be getting married and ostensibly doesn't want to be an actress anymore ("Show Off"), but her song evolves into a big production number with stage tricks and an encore. In Janet's room, Janet is having doubts about whether Robert really loves her, and she asks the Chaperone for advice. The Chaperone responds with the extemporaneous "As We Stumble Along", a "rousing anthem to alcoholism", which, Man in Chair explains Beatrice Stockwell insisted on including in the show. More helpfully, the chaperone tells Janet that she is feeling "drowsy" and must take a nap, giving Janet the opportunity to ask Robert if he loves her. Janet leaves for the garden, and Aldolpho enters, mistaking the Chaperone for Janet. The Chaperone happily pretends to be Janet and allows Aldolpho to "seduce" her in the song "I Am Aldolpho", which Man in Chair says was his mother’s favorite. Janet meets the blindfolded and roller-skating Robert in the garden, and she pretends to be a French woman, "Mimi," "from ze middle part [of France], where zey make ze toast." She asks Robert how he met his bride, and he describes their lovestruck first meeting ("Accident Waiting to Happen"). Carried away by his emotions, Robert kisses "Mimi" because she seems just like Janet. Janet furiously storms off because Robert has "kissed a strange French girl". Kitty, hoping to take Janet's place in the Follies, tries to demonstrate her mind-reading talents to Feldzieg, but reads her own mind. The gangsters confront Feldzieg, threatening him with a murderous "Toledo Surprise" because he has not yet succeeded in cancelling the wedding. Feldzieg distracts them by insisting that they actually have singing and dancing talent, and they turn "Toledo Surprise" into an upbeat dance number. Aldolpho, with the Chaperone on his arm, announces that he has seduced the bride and the wedding is therefore cancelled, but Feldzieg angrily tells him he has seduced the wrong woman. Janet announces that she is cancelling the wedding, and Robert protests in vain that he only kissed "Mimi" because she reminded him of Janet ("Toledo Surprise"); the ensemble mourns Janet and Robert’s “happy wedding time” (“Act 1 Finale”). Man in Chair announces that this is the end of the first act and the first record of the two-record set. Man in Chair puts on another record, saying that the audience can listen to the opening of the second act of The Drowsy Chaperone, and leaves for the restroom. A scene set with characters in stereotypical East Asian costumes in a palace appears onstage, and the chaperone costumed as an Englishwoman in a hoopskirted dress ("Message from a Nightingale"). Man in Chair hurriedly stops the record, explaining to the audience that that was the wrong record – it was the musical The Enchanted Nightingale, not the second act of The Drowsy Chaperone. He finds the right record, and The Drowsy Chaperone continues. In a musical dream sequence, Janet laments her lost romance and decides to return to the stage ("Bride's Lament"). Mrs. Tottendale tells Underling that the wedding will proceed as planned because "love is always lovely" in the end. She reveals to Underling that she is in love with him ("Love Is Always Lovely in the End"). The Chaperone announces that there will be a wedding after all: she and Aldolpho are getting married (which Aldolpho helplessly protests). Mrs. Tottendale announces that she and Underling are getting married as well. Robert tells Janet that he loves her, and Man in Chair announces that one of his favorite parts is coming up. The chaperone gives Janet advice on what to do as Aldolpho drops his cane and the Chaperone says "l-ve while you can," in which the vowel in the first word is inaudible. Man in Chair has an emotional monologue where he expresses his wonderment about the phrase, asking if it says "live while you can," or "leave while you can." He shares a brief backstory about his unsuccessful marriage and about how you should never leave, only live. The scene transforms back to Janet where she admits that she was really the French girl and agrees to marry him. To appease the gangsters, Feldzieg tells them that he has discovered a new star: Kitty. He asks her to demonstrate her mind-reading talent, and when she "reads Feldzieg's mind", she announces that he is asking her to marry him; trapped, Feldzieg agrees. George, now best man for all four weddings, realizes that he has failed at his most important task: finding a minister. Trix suddenly lands her plane in the garden to fix her “navigatrix”, announcing she is about to depart for Rio (“Wedding Bells #2”). Because a captain on board a ship can perform marriages, everyone rationalizes that Trix, as a pilot, can perform marriages on board a plane, and she can fly them all to Rio for their honeymoons ("I Do, I Do in the Sky"). As the record is about to play the show's final chord, the power goes out in Man in Chair's apartment, and a superintendent — who had called earlier in the show — arrives to check the circuit breakers. The power returns, the final chord plays, and the show is over. Alone again, Man in Chair, sufficiently drunk, sadly expresses his deep love for a musical that he has never actually seen. He begins to sing "As We Stumble Along" and the cast members, for the first time, acknowledge his presence, join in, and cheer him on ("As We Stumble Along (Reprise)").
